“I, John Kirby, do swear to make the year of 2009 full of more blog posts and musical happenings than ever before.”

I can still do that right, we’re not too, too late in the game of new years resolutions that I can’t join in the celebratory fun?

Anyway, how are you? Its been forever! Well just over two months.

I had some serious thinking I had to do though  So much so that it took me more than two full months to weed out Ideas, Options, Decision

Oh how I wish it was actually that easy.  I had all these FANTASTIC ideas.. all of these wonderful options!  Most of them involved me moving over seas to live in the UK, spreading my “SOUND” across the awesomeness that is Europe. Others were selfish desires and whims. 

My mind, much like my mouth, moves faster than the speed of light and for me to actually accomplish any of my goals, let alone set goals is a stunning feet in its self. So you would imagine my surprise when, after returning from my east coast tour with Trevor Howard last November, I was at a loss of what was going to do next.

I’d done it all; released the EP I said I would, shot the video, toured the country. I was so amazed I actually did any of the things I had planned to do, I hadn’t stopped to think what would come next. My desire and love of travel had me pegged to drop Canada all together, move away for years returning only for the occasional family issued holiday and to go on tour. 

Now its not to say I didn’t enjoy meeting you this year in my travels, its more my stir crazy nature when I stand still for too long.  Actually, its the people I met this year, the people who’ve been messaging me on MySpace and Facebook asking me to come back out and play again that I’ve decided to stay. That and the desire to do something bigger and better here first before I move on… anywhere.

That being said, I am writing my new album, tentatively titled “We All Share Demons” (at least that s the running theme for it anyway). I’ve gotten back together to jam with the guys in FTF to do some new stuff in that area as well.  Hell, I’m even back on the road again with the guys in Blind Mule from March 14th – May 2nd (Click Here Dates).

Yeah, things are looking okay, and I’m still getting to travel, so that at least quells my itch to not be in one place for too long. And with the hope of a small tour in Germany this August, I met even get to play in Europe. 

Things are fixing to be a good year.

Over this past weekend I had a chance to reconnect with friends of mine that I don’t see all that often or that is to say not nearly as much as I used to. I found it odd how the separation over time really allows that outside perspective of what those people and friendships actually are and how people really act. You actually get a chance to thin slice your perspectives on the people and the relationships in your life as well as what it actually says about you.

Birds of a Feather Flock Together

Convicted  criminals are not allowed to associate with certain criminals as conditions of their probation. The mere fact that people of the same class, category or personal attributes associate together can have a positive or negative effect on the individual. This same observation can be made with movies stars on the red carpet with other movie stars to factory workers kicking off a weekend at the local pub and it all comes back to an old proverb which says, “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”

People as a group can be collectively intelligent or collectively stupid. And who we are and what we do is in direct correlation to who we are hanging around with. Though glaringly obvious, it’s a fact of life many of us overlook.

So what kind of friend am I? Well I like to pride myself on being a decent person, not without faults but at least willing to listen, learn and grow. I like to think that the company I keep tends to be made up of people who either share a similar outlook or can benefit from knowing me. I like to help and fix. 

But if my above statement is true, then I am surrounding myself with Social Handymen and Handywomen. So should we then as people be looking for friendships that differ from our known behavior? Sure, we all need to grow and if we do want to change we need to go beyond our exsisting boundaries. But keeping old friends can act as a barometer in keeping you grounded and aware of who you are and where you came from.

Your Life, Your Rules, Your Circle

If your life is surrounded with strife, indifference and apathy,  perhaps a look at who you hang around with might help give you some perspective on why you are doing what you do…and maybe why you are NOT doing some things you want or should be. And know that this extends as far as you allow it.  If you want to say, Quit smoking… but all your friends smoke. Chances are you won’t quit. Now we could also get into the “Natural Leaders of Groups” discussion that would state if you “lead the heard” in your social circle then your chances of quitting and directly influencing others to quit could be mutually beneficial. But we can all act as natural leaders.

Taking initiative to change who we are regardless of social circumstance is bold, collectively empowering and personally fulfilling, more so than people are aware. If you want to change something, YOU MUST MAKE THE CHANGE. Our social circle only exists as a reference point to who we are at any particular time in our lives. Discussing change without action is verbal masturbation.

I realized a few things after this weekend. One, after not moving musical equipment for nearly a year on the scale that I did on this weekend I am grossly out of shape. Two, I love my friends and I’m happy I have people in my life who are happy to see me succeed and I am happy to see succeed. However, I will never let these friends nor would I want them to hear from me the words of defeat, or hindrance. My friends will say a lot about who I am, but will never make me who I am.

Who is Making You?

What Do You Think You Can or Can’t Do Because of Your Circle?

So you all have been patiently waiting for a new blog… and trust me, I’ve been a writing.  I’m currently compiling a summary of all the days on the tour so you all can read how I spent my time out east. It will all come out in a multi-part blog post extravaganza.

Aside from recovering from a Tour Hang Over, the equivalent of Jetlag for touring musicians, I’m writing new songs and figuring out the new year that lays ahead of me.  I completed everything I wanted to this year …recorded and released an EP, shot a video and toured the country. It’s weird to think that I’ve done exactly what it is I wanted to do but the flip side is what’s next?

A new album IS coming but be patient. I want it to rock and sound awesome. I want it to have a band behind it, I want to see you all singing with me when I tour for it. It’s a tall order for me…(I know) and I can only assume it is like writing your thesis for Uni.  I want it to be outside of the C Student working efforts I usually follow.  I just want it to be a lot of none specific and equally specific things…its messed. But I know its there. It’s a picture I cant see yet but know is there. I just know if I over think it… I’ll kill it.

I’ve also got ALL of you a Xmas Gift… 

In the meantime, this is what I do when I get bored… or want to avoid work… Facebook Awesomeness.

A Survey Stolen from Brandon Eedy.

Do you kiss people when you are single?
Best time to do it…

What were you doing at 8 AM this morning?
Unfortunately sleeping… though I should have been up. Buying an alarm clock today.

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
work…

How do you feel about the person who last texted you?
We cuddled in a van once…it was cold… it was Bromantic.

Do you like your life as of now?
Somewhat, but everyone wants things to be better… some how.

Four words to explain why you last threw up?
Halifax, Beer, Maritimers, Jaggerbomb

How is your heart lately?
Hes hangin in despite my best efforts.

Where did your last hug take place?
Loretto @ the Rooster.

Ever kissed someone who smokes?
Werd.

Are you a jealous person?
To be jealous is human… its more about realizing WHY your jealous. So yes.

Are you tired right now?
Always. Tour Hangover Day 8

Do you chew on your straws?
Oral fixation.

Have you ever been called a tease?
Tease? Me? I dont think thats possible.

Do you have curly hair?
Whats hair.

Do you lead people on?
My cuteness is a tractor beam.

Do you like to cuddle?
only on the floor of the van with Hachey.. when its cold…and your on your way to Saskatoon.

Do you cry easily?
Not really.

Do you have any siblings?
3

What should you be doing right now?
LEarning more about Angelos Italian Bakery in London, ON

Are you a heavy sleeper?
Werd

Who instant messaged you last?
Hachey

When was the last time something bothered you?
This morning.

Where was your default picture taken?
My apartment

Are you single?
Yes

Are you happy right now?
I just am.

Where is your phone?
Venturing around my person somewhere.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for six months?
Yes.. 6 months is nothing

Do you like country music?
Sure. I like good music. Theres only Good and bad music… regardless of Genre.

Are looks important?
This is such a stupid question, because if you say no – you are a liar. There obviously has to be some degree of attraction.

Has anyone ever sang to you?
Yes… plus i serenade myself every morning

Are you mad at someone right now?
Dont really get mad… though I harbor unwaranted resentment towards people based on my own actions and stupidity.

Do you believe in love?
In life after love or just love?

Who is your best guy friend?
Jesus… Jesus Amberley *Correction, it said GUY friend… though I guess shes kinda like a dude.

What’s your favorite type of flower?
Marigold

Where did you last sleep other than your house?
Parents House

Do you have a best friend?
Didnt we cover this… JESUS!

Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Do you buy a car before test driving it?

Do you remember what you were like a year ago?
Kinda the same, less debt, more hair.

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
God. I dunno, my mother?

Where are you right now, and how do you feel about where you are?
Office…its work… its not forever.

Can you vote next election?
yes?

What are you listening to?
Mitch Hedberg

When will your next kiss be?
I predict this weekend, but who knows.

Do you miss someone?
Indeed.

Do you watch wrestling?
Nope.

Do you love someone right now?
Mitch Hedberg

Do you like someone right now?
I like you, you are ADORABLE!

Have you ever played Twister?
I can honestly say I cant remember EVER playing that game…EVER.

Who was the last person to call you beautiful/gorgeous?
Some drunk cougar at The Rooster.

Where were you at 2:02 this morning?
The Rooster watching Under Seige 2: Dark Territory

Did you have a Valentine this year?
Only Saint Valentine…

What are you doing for your next birthday?
My brain cant compute a date that far ahead in time. My current brain OS only functions at a maximum of 4 months ahead.

Last place you took a plane to?
Victoria, BC to see Terri

Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
How else do you display emotion online…

Do you tend to rip the paper off water bottles?
Werd.

What’s your number one favorite store?
Any Music Store.

Who did you last go out to eat with?
No clue…maybe my rents.

Do you have unlimited texting?
Couldnt live without it.

When is the last time you took a nap?
Past weekend.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Mr. Jason Hunter.

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
Depends on who I’m talking to.

Do you wear glasses?
Probably should.

Where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now?
WalMart – Where Independent Musicians SHop For Underwear

What are you looking forward to in the next month?
Cayman Fucking Islands and playing guitar on the beach.

What are you thinking about?
Nothingness… its creepy.

The following post is taken from a message board I belong to called The905Board. An online community for pretty much everyone in the 905 area Code in Canada and people abroad, it began mostly as a forum for music people but has expanded. 

The question came up as to what everyone on the board does. And being that I need validation through posting to make me seem justified, I posted my response. I bit more extensive than some of the others you’ll see but thats me.

Check out the Original Post

Worked various jobs after high school school, (Skate Sharpener Guy, Grocery Store Dude, Record Store Person, Purolator take a nap while loading the trucks at 4am Man etc.) finally attending Mohawk for Business/Marketing. Learned how to do the Pen Twirl around the finger, smoke drugs and waste roughly 2-3 Grand. Did succeed in getting my lowest grade EVER: Math 17%.  Dropped out halfway through second semester worked 3 jobs and pretty much just hung out with the girl I was dating, living vicariously through her Uni experience up at Western.  Went back to school a year later for advertising at Sheridan. Got my shit together and passed.

I again worked various jobs after college, not really wanting to get a REAL job. Finally resigning to my fate, I worked in the Ad Industry for almost 2 years. Mostly desk jockey stuff  and mind numbing work but I did live in downtown TO which was cool for a while but that grew tiresome after about 2 months.

During all of this I was playing in a band called First Time Fallen. We achieved some moderate local success and released 3 cds in about 6 years, though we never really toured, which I realized is what I really wanted to do. So after the band more or less stopped playing last year, I began a solo project and decided I would tour and make a go of being a musician. Couldn’t let all those years playing go to waste.

After quitting my TO job I took a gig working for my parents that would allow me to be on the road. I moved back to Burlington and in between tours, my roommate and I started a small indie label called C&B Records.   Since December 2007 we’ve released 3 cds under our Mix Tape Series collection highlighting acts from in and around the 905 area, as well as my two EPs. We also ran a side stage during the Burlington Sound of Music Festival out front of our apartment in downtown B-Town with 19 artists over two days. All acoustic, we had a wide range of bands like Bombing Neverland, Dark Pearl, Aitc(H), Robyn Dell’Unto, Dirty Love Band, etc. Currently were working on doing a multi-venue festival in Burlington for 2009.

I just got back from what I was taking to calling a writing sabbatical, but more turned into a wander and sleep fest in Victoria, BC.

A distinct lack of motivation and desire to want to do anything. Maybe too much time thinking but that’s how I roll I spose. I really wanted to get more songs done, or should I say, it would have been cool IF I had. But the thing with writing is if I want it done, I have to sit down, focus and do it. Its not divine inspiration. Its intentional and specific…to whatever it is.

That may sound like it would steal the creative side of it, but if I don’t operate like that, I don’t get anything done. There’s always the songs that just COME up, but 90% of the time I have sat down to write them knowing I would write something.  Now… there are the songs, that creep up on me, right before I drift off to sleep. And I’m so convinced that the melody I’m humming as I fall into my slumber will be with me until morning. How could it not, I’ve been humming it while I try to sleep and it wont go away.  But, inevitably… when I wake next to my piles of laundry and a guitar case, I realize that the great feeling of that song and the song itself are gone.

This happens all the time. Ever since I began writing songs. My best ideas come before I sleep. This particular song had three parts, a lazy three-part harmony chorus based somewhere in B-minor.  The easy save would be for me to sit up and start playing it before I crash…I just don’t.  I give myself sympathy for being tired or that because I’m on a holiday or maybe that song sounds like something else, I should just leave it for morning.

Now what kind of  “musician” does that. It bugs the hell out of me but I guess being lazy is being human.  And all success is derived from direct action. The balance is there somewhere.

Disguised in Reality Tour or Gaining Distance

I spent a good portion of my nite/morning, watching highlights of the up and coming Brothers In Arms: Highway To Hell video game from Gearbox Software.

A singing endorsement maybe but the fact is my admiration of this part of history comes form a long standing love of stories from that time from my grandfather who served in the 28th Armored Brigade, part of the 4th Armored Division in WW2.

Mike “PAPA” Kirby as we called him would tell us only short stories of the shit he went through during his service in Europe and in England. Only little glimpses of what he could actually tell. Fascinating & equally terrifying, it created a desire in me to learn more throughout my childhood and even more so when he passed away, to learn more about what he did. 

This in turn lead my already huge love of video games to turn into a love of WW2 based games, Call of Duty, Brothers In Arms etc and an avid re-watcher of A Bridge To Far and Band of Brothers.

So what the hell does this have to do with ADD…

Well, part of this downtime I’m in while at home, part of being back means I have to write, I just HAVE to, this is the only time I feel like I can, in between work and seeing friends and living a normal life. But what the hell can I contribute by writing, what do I say, what do i have to share when someone like PAPA, reagardless of your perspective on war, seems to have done so much more in his service during WW2 then I feel like I could do in a lifetime?

So, when I feel like writting and then as usual get stuck in a thought, I turn to my video games, my distractions that for the most part put me in the mindset of, though I may have not done much, I can at least see what it is I DID NOT have to do in my lifetime. 

Now there are always wars to fight. But I think what I’m aiming for here is that regardless of how insignificant I think my life may be at times, or we as people think at times, we have all made a decision to do what it is we do. regardless of historical impact.

I don’t ever mean to downgrade PAPAs choices to become a soldier. As he told me that, all of his friends were going, everyone was a part of it. And when I look at my own life, all of my good friends are doing music, all of my friends want to be a part of it. And conversally, my cousin Jeff, who currently is serving with the Canadian Armed Forces could probably say the same thing. 

Now its not to say we dont have free will and we only do what are friends want or do. But that based on our surroundings, we do what we think is best for us. And best for what we think we can contribute to this world.

I found that on tour this last time I lost any and all belief in some sort of God or supernatural being. Luck is the only thing I think contributes. A chance, circumstance. I’ll save you the reasons why I think religion is all a farce because these are my own beliefs and as a human I have them, but the fact remains, we will all do things we believe to be true and believe we can have an impact on. 

I play WW2 video games because I believe that these individuals, at that time, knew only that being a part of a war so international, was the only way to help. They believed so strongly in what they fought for that it could only be the RIGHT thing they were doing. 

Regardless of torment and efects after, they did it because a pation in them stemmed so deep from there surroundings they knew they had to. 

And this is why I do what I do. As much as I question its validity and purpose or lack of effect. I love expression thorgh music and making a change through music. So I will forever be this. 

Papa never got to watch me play. I always thought he wouldnt be able to bear it as I was in a rock band then. But he always wanted to. He never thought less of what I might be contributing, as he did during his youth. All I think we ever wanted was to make some impact on this world.

I hope, at some point when I get past whatever it is this self doubt is doing I can do something as significant as he did during the war. I hope its not in vain. And I hope its for the right reasons.

I’m gonna go play Brothers In Arms now.

Cheers

Kirby

Me and The Boys of Blind Mule

So Where Have I Been?

Well if you checked out Kirbysings.com this summer you would have noticed the poster for the Blind Mule Kirby Tour. 6 weeks across Canada. 6 Weeks in a tiny MPV Mazda MiniVan with 7 people. Cramped quarters, yes, but also a lesson in fun and awesome. 

My original plan, when this tour came about, was to have this killer stage performance with a video screen and some other fun, coupled with some bitchin props. Alas, 7 people in a tiny van doesn’t leave much room for anything, let alone props.

In the end I left from Blind Mules home base in Hamilton on a sweltering July afternoon with a bag, guitar and some merch. Off on the road we go.

I learned so much about myself on this past tour and without getting into too much blah blah blah, I can honestly say my perspectives and assumptions on life and people have changed. I felt so young on this tour, in mind and body.  I spent my 26^th birthday at an amazing festival called ArtsWells ( http://artswells.com) that help contribute to a lifestyle I am apparently now living. The touring Musician. I’ve let go or at least tried in ernest to let go of the apprehension surrounding what it is I want from life, tried to feel less timid. Though thoughts like that always persist. Being around this positive energy at that festival was something unknown to me before and frankly never knew exsisted. Some called it magic that weekend, but whatever it was, I’m now changed because of it.

I met too many amazing artists to name though I do encourage you to check out:

Corwin Fox: http://www.myspace.com/corwinfox

The Gruff: http://www.myspace.com/thegruffband

James Lamb: http:// www.myspace.com/jameslamb

Miss Emily Brown: http://www.myspace.com/missemilybrown

Don Alder: http://www.myspace.com/donalder

Wax Mannequin : http:// www.myspace.com/waxmannequin

Now, as for the lack of communication while on the road.  I made a decision about a week into the tour that I would try as little as possible to contact anyone, or let anyone know exactly what I was up to. A chance for some self discovery, self reflection…mostly just SELF stuff. Self-ish… a little. But I cant remember a time when I’ve ever had a chance to do that.

There are tons of pictures from tour, though I only have a few and more stories from many a sorted nite drinking too much booze, swimming at 2am and sleeping on trailers in stead of in the van. More stories and more will come in future posts.

Good to be home.

You see because that’s the thing. In this crazy tumultuous music world, where do you fit yourself as a musician? Or wait, are we just entertainers? Or…both? Or neither…..

The experts will claim that to sell effectively you first need to truly define what you are.  Pretty in-depth stuff for a bunch of EXPERTS wouldn’t you say?  I can almost imagine a group of stoner hippies, in suits sitting around a hookah in a dimly lit coming up with this stuff. But I digress.

The hardest part of my own life/career/existence thus far has been that exact definitive.  WTF am I, or supposed to be?   At one of the shows from The Good Fight Tour, a strange dude came up to me, looked me in the eye and said something to the effect of, “Don’t worry about being anything other than yourself, that’s what people relate to, and what they react to.”  

Now you have to understand, I had just finished my first set at this gig in Medicine Hat called the Ottoman Lounge and at first I thought this guy was hitting on me, cause he walked past me like three times before actually approaching me, gazing and smirking at me with every pass.  As it turns out he’s a music therapist (I know, I couldn’t believe that was a job either) and he broke down the whole set for me, as to when I seemed comfortable, nervous, insincere, honest, self deprecating.  I got a mini sessions with this guy and the best part, was the ease I felt after talking with him.

The thing is, being yourself is not only about finding that sense of knowledge, where you are operating in harmony with your consciousness… as in, “If I just punch this baby, that would be the meanest thing ever and completely idiotic, not to mention psychopathic and banana nuts, cause I know I’d be charged with baby punching and why the hell would I punch a baby in the first place, what does that say about me.”  But that you are fine with who you actually are.

And that in itself seems to be the main issue… are we really fine with our selves. I wasn’t during that set in Medicine Hat; all I could think about was what these strangers 3ft away from me were thinking of me. 

But hell, I’m sure even some hookers are fine with who they are and love their jobs (no pun intended). Why can’t I be?  I’ve found that not only in myself but in many others a need to avoid the reality that is self, that is us as individuals. Either by fear, worry or some unknown.  Because the unknown can be terrifying.  But being who we really are not only lets us function on a balanced plain, it keeps your head straight, it lets you see clearer what it is you really want out of everything.  It’s like formatting your computer as it were, or calibrating it at the very least.

The older we get or the longer  we are involved with something (i.e. your job, relationships, bad habits) the harder it may seem to make sense of what it is we are doing or WHY it is.  Taking a few moments, every now and then…or every day… whatever works best for you, to make sure you have defined a path for yourself just might keep you out of the shittier side of life and worrying less about hippies with hookahs… or Music Therapist with anterior motives.