Over this past weekend I had a chance to reconnect with friends of mine that I don’t see all that often or that is to say not nearly as much as I used to. I found it odd how the separation over time really allows that outside perspective of what those people and friendships actually are and how people really act. You actually get a chance to thin slice your perspectives on the people and the relationships in your life as well as what it actually says about you.
Birds of a Feather Flock Together
Convicted criminals are not allowed to associate with certain criminals as conditions of their probation. The mere fact that people of the same class, category or personal attributes associate together can have a positive or negative effect on the individual. This same observation can be made with movies stars on the red carpet with other movie stars to factory workers kicking off a weekend at the local pub and it all comes back to an old proverb which says, “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”
People as a group can be collectively intelligent or collectively stupid. And who we are and what we do is in direct correlation to who we are hanging around with. Though glaringly obvious, it’s a fact of life many of us overlook.
So what kind of friend am I? Well I like to pride myself on being a decent person, not without faults but at least willing to listen, learn and grow. I like to think that the company I keep tends to be made up of people who either share a similar outlook or can benefit from knowing me. I like to help and fix.
But if my above statement is true, then I am surrounding myself with Social Handymen and Handywomen. So should we then as people be looking for friendships that differ from our known behavior? Sure, we all need to grow and if we do want to change we need to go beyond our exsisting boundaries. But keeping old friends can act as a barometer in keeping you grounded and aware of who you are and where you came from.
Your Life, Your Rules, Your Circle
If your life is surrounded with strife, indifference and apathy, perhaps a look at who you hang around with might help give you some perspective on why you are doing what you do…and maybe why you are NOT doing some things you want or should be. And know that this extends as far as you allow it. If you want to say, Quit smoking… but all your friends smoke. Chances are you won’t quit. Now we could also get into the “Natural Leaders of Groups” discussion that would state if you “lead the heard” in your social circle then your chances of quitting and directly influencing others to quit could be mutually beneficial. But we can all act as natural leaders.
Taking initiative to change who we are regardless of social circumstance is bold, collectively empowering and personally fulfilling, more so than people are aware. If you want to change something, YOU MUST MAKE THE CHANGE. Our social circle only exists as a reference point to who we are at any particular time in our lives. Discussing change without action is verbal masturbation.
I realized a few things after this weekend. One, after not moving musical equipment for nearly a year on the scale that I did on this weekend I am grossly out of shape. Two, I love my friends and I’m happy I have people in my life who are happy to see me succeed and I am happy to see succeed. However, I will never let these friends nor would I want them to hear from me the words of defeat, or hindrance. My friends will say a lot about who I am, but will never make me who I am.
Who is Making You?
What Do You Think You Can or Can’t Do Because of Your Circle?
Tour Hang Over Day 8 or A Facebook Survey
November 26, 2008
So you all have been patiently waiting for a new blog… and trust me, I’ve been a writing. I’m currently compiling a summary of all the days on the tour so you all can read how I spent my time out east. It will all come out in a multi-part blog post extravaganza.
Aside from recovering from a Tour Hang Over, the equivalent of Jetlag for touring musicians, I’m writing new songs and figuring out the new year that lays ahead of me. I completed everything I wanted to this year …recorded and released an EP, shot a video and toured the country. It’s weird to think that I’ve done exactly what it is I wanted to do but the flip side is what’s next?
A new album IS coming but be patient. I want it to rock and sound awesome. I want it to have a band behind it, I want to see you all singing with me when I tour for it. It’s a tall order for me…(I know) and I can only assume it is like writing your thesis for Uni. I want it to be outside of the C Student working efforts I usually follow. I just want it to be a lot of none specific and equally specific things…its messed. But I know its there. It’s a picture I cant see yet but know is there. I just know if I over think it… I’ll kill it.
I’ve also got ALL of you a Xmas Gift…
In the meantime, this is what I do when I get bored… or want to avoid work… Facebook Awesomeness.
A Survey Stolen from Brandon Eedy.
Do you kiss people when you are single?
Best time to do it…
What were you doing at 8 AM this morning?
Unfortunately sleeping… though I should have been up. Buying an alarm clock today.
What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
work…
How do you feel about the person who last texted you?
We cuddled in a van once…it was cold… it was Bromantic.
Do you like your life as of now?
Somewhat, but everyone wants things to be better… some how.
Four words to explain why you last threw up?
Halifax, Beer, Maritimers, Jaggerbomb
How is your heart lately?
Hes hangin in despite my best efforts.
Where did your last hug take place?
Loretto @ the Rooster.
Ever kissed someone who smokes?
Werd.
Are you a jealous person?
To be jealous is human… its more about realizing WHY your jealous. So yes.
Are you tired right now?
Always. Tour Hangover Day 8
Do you chew on your straws?
Oral fixation.
Have you ever been called a tease?
Tease? Me? I dont think thats possible.
Do you have curly hair?
Whats hair.
Do you lead people on?
My cuteness is a tractor beam.
Do you like to cuddle?
only on the floor of the van with Hachey.. when its cold…and your on your way to Saskatoon.
Do you cry easily?
Not really.
Do you have any siblings?
3
What should you be doing right now?
LEarning more about Angelos Italian Bakery in London, ON
Are you a heavy sleeper?
Werd
Who instant messaged you last?
Hachey
When was the last time something bothered you?
This morning.
Where was your default picture taken?
My apartment
Are you single?
Yes
Are you happy right now?
I just am.
Where is your phone?
Venturing around my person somewhere.
Do you think you can last in a relationship for six months?
Yes.. 6 months is nothing
Do you like country music?
Sure. I like good music. Theres only Good and bad music… regardless of Genre.
Are looks important?
This is such a stupid question, because if you say no – you are a liar. There obviously has to be some degree of attraction.
Has anyone ever sang to you?
Yes… plus i serenade myself every morning
Are you mad at someone right now?
Dont really get mad… though I harbor unwaranted resentment towards people based on my own actions and stupidity.
Do you believe in love?
In life after love or just love?
Who is your best guy friend?
Jesus… Jesus Amberley *Correction, it said GUY friend… though I guess shes kinda like a dude.
What’s your favorite type of flower?
Marigold
Where did you last sleep other than your house?
Parents House
Do you have a best friend?
Didnt we cover this… JESUS!
Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Do you buy a car before test driving it?
Do you remember what you were like a year ago?
Kinda the same, less debt, more hair.
Who was the last person you cried in front of?
God. I dunno, my mother?
Where are you right now, and how do you feel about where you are?
Office…its work… its not forever.
Can you vote next election?
yes?
What are you listening to?
Mitch Hedberg
When will your next kiss be?
I predict this weekend, but who knows.
Do you miss someone?
Indeed.
Do you watch wrestling?
Nope.
Do you love someone right now?
Mitch Hedberg
Do you like someone right now?
I like you, you are ADORABLE!
Have you ever played Twister?
I can honestly say I cant remember EVER playing that game…EVER.
Who was the last person to call you beautiful/gorgeous?
Some drunk cougar at The Rooster.
Where were you at 2:02 this morning?
The Rooster watching Under Seige 2: Dark Territory
Did you have a Valentine this year?
Only Saint Valentine…
What are you doing for your next birthday?
My brain cant compute a date that far ahead in time. My current brain OS only functions at a maximum of 4 months ahead.
Last place you took a plane to?
Victoria, BC to see Terri
Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
How else do you display emotion online…
Do you tend to rip the paper off water bottles?
Werd.
What’s your number one favorite store?
Any Music Store.
Who did you last go out to eat with?
No clue…maybe my rents.
Do you have unlimited texting?
Couldnt live without it.
When is the last time you took a nap?
Past weekend.
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Mr. Jason Hunter.
Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
Depends on who I’m talking to.
Do you wear glasses?
Probably should.
Where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now?
WalMart – Where Independent Musicians SHop For Underwear
What are you looking forward to in the next month?
Cayman Fucking Islands and playing guitar on the beach.
What are you thinking about?
Nothingness… its creepy.
WOW, This post was delayed… or Tour Notes from the Road
November 11, 2008
Hey everyone, sorry this was delayed… I origianlly wrote this in our Hotel Room in Montreal…
Tour is underway for the third time this year, completing my goal to play across this country. One of the big three things I wanted to do. You’d think that with it being one of the key spects of my yearly achievements I’d take some pictures of it…well… I have, but not many.
Trevor Howard and I started this tour last Thursday (Oct 30th), a warm up to what would be the Disguised In Reality East Coast tour. Now that we’ve reached Montreal via the latest tour vehical “Black Beauty”, finished two days of shows here, my body hates me.
An endless supply of perpetually hot than hotter women pass you on the streets, shows are plentiful as are the artists who play them at the various venues around the city. Its honestly unbelievible how fantastic this place is. And I think that overload of awesome mixed in with the beauty that is in the city streets by way of beautiful architecture and parks prevents me from wanting to capture any of it via digital medium and keep lodged in my brain with a mental picture.
Its our own European part of the country. Far more culture than I have seen in any other city this year but still, as with any city in our vast land, maintains that unspoken level of Canadiana that seeps out of people.
Oh and did I mention the beer?
The Pound, a fantastic place where Trevor and I met up with our friends Hunter Eves and Adam from Blind Mule after our fun but poorly attended set, were able to purchase 3 beers for $10, enjoy some of the best music and people in Montreal. BOOYAH. After jumping on that spectacular deal, who should I see but my friend from the Artswells festival, Scotty Dunbar. Scott Moved from Prince George to partake in the awesomeness that is the Montreal Music Scene by busking and getting by just by art. The boldest musician I’ve met. Street performing is for a certain breed and he is at the top of his food chain.
Our second day followed much of the same debauchery as the first, though I was able to travel around the city, passing an endless supply of hospitals, universities, pretty women, and cafe’s. We played our second show at the legendary Yellow Door pub, taking in two amazing sets from Charloette Cornfield and Amy Campbell. Yellow Door is the coolest little basement venue you’ll ever see. I again ran into more artists I met in BC, this time it was James Lamb and The lovely Miss Emily Brown, former BC residents and amazing artists who have also moved to this great city.
Our grand finally was watching Hunter Eves and Adam play at theatre Sainte Catherine with Pan PEI.
Why no pictures…I guess theres just too much stimulus.
Moncton’s next, lets see how we manage…
My History or Life Revisited
October 28, 2008
The following post is taken from a message board I belong to called The905Board. An online community for pretty much everyone in the 905 area Code in Canada and people abroad, it began mostly as a forum for music people but has expanded.
The question came up as to what everyone on the board does. And being that I need validation through posting to make me seem justified, I posted my response. I bit more extensive than some of the others you’ll see but thats me.
My Response:
“Its equal parts Impressive and Depressing to read what everyone does. I have always admired people who seem to have their shit together. Especially those of you who are younger.
As for me…
Hated high school. Became a part time student in grade 10, coincidently enough, the same year I discovered ICQ and Quake 2. Actually tried my last year and got mostly A’s. Worked most of my time in school as a cook, skipping class to work 12-14hr days, ultimately spending my cash on beer, vacation money to the UK and Florida and music gear.
Worked various jobs after high school school, (Skate Sharpener Guy, Grocery Store Dude, Record Store Person, Purolator take a nap while loading the trucks at 4am Man etc.) finally attending Mohawk for Business/Marketing. Learned how to do the Pen Twirl around the finger, smoke drugs and waste roughly 2-3 Grand. Did succeed in getting my lowest grade EVER: Math 17%. Dropped out halfway through second semester worked 3 jobs and pretty much just hung out with the girl I was dating, living vicariously through her Uni experience up at Western. Went back to school a year later for advertising at Sheridan. Got my shit together and passed.
I again worked various jobs after college, not really wanting to get a REAL job. Finally resigning to my fate, I worked in the Ad Industry for almost 2 years. Mostly desk jockey stuff and mind numbing work but I did live in downtown TO which was cool for a while but that grew tiresome after about 2 months.
During all of this I was playing in a band called First Time Fallen. We achieved some moderate local success and released 3 cds in about 6 years, though we never really toured, which I realized is what I really wanted to do. So after the band more or less stopped playing last year, I began a solo project and decided I would tour and make a go of being a musician. Couldn’t let all those years playing go to waste.
After quitting my TO job I took a gig working for my parents that would allow me to be on the road. I moved back to Burlington and in between tours, my roommate and I started a small indie label called C&B Records. Since December 2007 we’ve released 3 cds under our Mix Tape Series collection highlighting acts from in and around the 905 area, as well as my two EPs. We also ran a side stage during the Burlington Sound of Music Festival out front of our apartment in downtown B-Town with 19 artists over two days. All acoustic, we had a wide range of bands like Bombing Neverland, Dark Pearl, Aitc(H), Robyn Dell’Unto, Dirty Love Band, etc. Currently were working on doing a multi-venue festival in Burlington for 2009.
Life isn’t perfect and I’m not 100% sure what I’m doing but at least I’m on some sort of track that makes sense and doesn’t leave me completely bitter about the world and society, though living in Burlington is pretty boring. And you can make money with music, just got to learn how. If it was easy everyone would do it.”
I’ve Been Mistaken for a Musician or My Lost Holiday
October 8, 2008
I just got back from what I was taking to calling a writing sabbatical, but more turned into a wander and sleep fest in Victoria, BC.
A distinct lack of motivation and desire to want to do anything. Maybe too much time thinking but that’s how I roll I spose. I really wanted to get more songs done, or should I say, it would have been cool IF I had. But the thing with writing is if I want it done, I have to sit down, focus and do it. Its not divine inspiration. Its intentional and specific…to whatever it is.
That may sound like it would steal the creative side of it, but if I don’t operate like that, I don’t get anything done. There’s always the songs that just COME up, but 90% of the time I have sat down to write them knowing I would write something. Now… there are the songs, that creep up on me, right before I drift off to sleep. And I’m so convinced that the melody I’m humming as I fall into my slumber will be with me until morning. How could it not, I’ve been humming it while I try to sleep and it wont go away. But, inevitably… when I wake next to my piles of laundry and a guitar case, I realize that the great feeling of that song and the song itself are gone.
This happens all the time. Ever since I began writing songs. My best ideas come before I sleep. This particular song had three parts, a lazy three-part harmony chorus based somewhere in B-minor. The easy save would be for me to sit up and start playing it before I crash…I just don’t. I give myself sympathy for being tired or that because I’m on a holiday or maybe that song sounds like something else, I should just leave it for morning.
Now what kind of “musician” does that. It bugs the hell out of me but I guess being lazy is being human. And all success is derived from direct action. The balance is there somewhere.
