Over this past weekend I had a chance to reconnect with friends of mine that I don’t see all that often or that is to say not nearly as much as I used to. I found it odd how the separation over time really allows that outside perspective of what those people and friendships actually are and how people really act. You actually get a chance to thin slice your perspectives on the people and the relationships in your life as well as what it actually says about you.
Birds of a Feather Flock Together
Convicted criminals are not allowed to associate with certain criminals as conditions of their probation. The mere fact that people of the same class, category or personal attributes associate together can have a positive or negative effect on the individual. This same observation can be made with movies stars on the red carpet with other movie stars to factory workers kicking off a weekend at the local pub and it all comes back to an old proverb which says, “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”
People as a group can be collectively intelligent or collectively stupid. And who we are and what we do is in direct correlation to who we are hanging around with. Though glaringly obvious, it’s a fact of life many of us overlook.
So what kind of friend am I? Well I like to pride myself on being a decent person, not without faults but at least willing to listen, learn and grow. I like to think that the company I keep tends to be made up of people who either share a similar outlook or can benefit from knowing me. I like to help and fix.
But if my above statement is true, then I am surrounding myself with Social Handymen and Handywomen. So should we then as people be looking for friendships that differ from our known behavior? Sure, we all need to grow and if we do want to change we need to go beyond our exsisting boundaries. But keeping old friends can act as a barometer in keeping you grounded and aware of who you are and where you came from.
Your Life, Your Rules, Your Circle
If your life is surrounded with strife, indifference and apathy, perhaps a look at who you hang around with might help give you some perspective on why you are doing what you do…and maybe why you are NOT doing some things you want or should be. And know that this extends as far as you allow it. If you want to say, Quit smoking… but all your friends smoke. Chances are you won’t quit. Now we could also get into the “Natural Leaders of Groups” discussion that would state if you “lead the heard” in your social circle then your chances of quitting and directly influencing others to quit could be mutually beneficial. But we can all act as natural leaders.
Taking initiative to change who we are regardless of social circumstance is bold, collectively empowering and personally fulfilling, more so than people are aware. If you want to change something, YOU MUST MAKE THE CHANGE. Our social circle only exists as a reference point to who we are at any particular time in our lives. Discussing change without action is verbal masturbation.
I realized a few things after this weekend. One, after not moving musical equipment for nearly a year on the scale that I did on this weekend I am grossly out of shape. Two, I love my friends and I’m happy I have people in my life who are happy to see me succeed and I am happy to see succeed. However, I will never let these friends nor would I want them to hear from me the words of defeat, or hindrance. My friends will say a lot about who I am, but will never make me who I am.
Who is Making You?
What Do You Think You Can or Can’t Do Because of Your Circle?
