My History or Life Revisited

The following post is taken from a message board I belong to called The905Board. An online community for pretty much everyone in the 905 area Code in Canada and people abroad, it began mostly as a forum for music people but has expanded. 

The question came up as to what everyone on the board does. And being that I need validation through posting to make me seem justified, I posted my response. I bit more extensive than some of the others you’ll see but thats me.

Check out the Original Post

My Response:

“Its equal parts Impressive and Depressing to read what everyone does.  I have always admired people who seem to have their shit together. Especially those of you who are younger.

As for me…

Hated high school. Became a part time student in grade 10, coincidently enough, the same year I discovered ICQ and Quake 2.  Actually tried my last year and got mostly A’s. Worked most of my time in school as a cook, skipping class to work 12-14hr days, ultimately spending my cash on beer, vacation money to the UK and Florida and music gear.

Worked various jobs after high school school, (Skate Sharpener Guy, Grocery Store Dude, Record Store Person, Purolator take a nap while loading the trucks at 4am Man etc.) finally attending Mohawk for Business/Marketing. Learned how to do the Pen Twirl around the finger, smoke drugs and waste roughly 2-3 Grand. Did succeed in getting my lowest grade EVER: Math 17%.  Dropped out halfway through second semester worked 3 jobs and pretty much just hung out with the girl I was dating, living vicariously through her Uni experience up at Western.  Went back to school a year later for advertising at Sheridan. Got my shit together and passed.

I again worked various jobs after college, not really wanting to get a REAL job. Finally resigning to my fate, I worked in the Ad Industry for almost 2 years. Mostly desk jockey stuff  and mind numbing work but I did live in downtown TO which was cool for a while but that grew tiresome after about 2 months.

During all of this I was playing in a band called First Time Fallen. We achieved some moderate local success and released 3 cds in about 6 years, though we never really toured, which I realized is what I really wanted to do. So after the band more or less stopped playing last year, I began a solo project and decided I would tour and make a go of being a musician. Couldn’t let all those years playing go to waste.

After quitting my TO job I took a gig working for my parents that would allow me to be on the road. I moved back to Burlington and in between tours, my roommate and I started a small indie label called C&B Records.   Since December 2007 we’ve released 3 cds under our Mix Tape Series collection highlighting acts from in and around the 905 area, as well as my two EPs. We also ran a side stage during the Burlington Sound of Music Festival out front of our apartment in downtown B-Town with 19 artists over two days. All acoustic, we had a wide range of bands like Bombing Neverland, Dark Pearl, Aitc(H), Robyn Dell’Unto, Dirty Love Band, etc. Currently were working on doing a multi-venue festival in Burlington for 2009.

Life isn’t perfect and I’m not 100% sure what I’m doing but at least I’m on some sort of track that makes sense and doesn’t leave me completely bitter about the world and society, though living in Burlington is pretty boring. And you can make money with music, just got to learn how. If it was easy everyone would do it.”

 

I’ve Been Mistaken for a Musician or My Lost Holiday

 

 

I just got back from what I was taking to calling a writing sabbatical, but more turned into a wander and sleep fest in Victoria, BC.

 

A distinct lack of motivation and desire to want to do anything. Maybe too much time thinking but that’s how I roll I spose. I really wanted to get more songs done, or should I say, it would have been cool IF I had. But the thing with writing is if I want it done, I have to sit down, focus and do it. Its not divine inspiration. Its intentional and specific…to whatever it is.

 

That may sound like it would steal the creative side of it, but if I don’t operate like that, I don’t get anything done. There’s always the songs that just COME up, but 90% of the time I have sat down to write them knowing I would write something.  Now… there are the songs, that creep up on me, right before I drift off to sleep. And I’m so convinced that the melody I’m humming as I fall into my slumber will be with me until morning. How could it not, I’ve been humming it while I try to sleep and it wont go away.  But, inevitably… when I wake next to my piles of laundry and a guitar case, I realize that the great feeling of that song and the song itself are gone.

 

This happens all the time. Ever since I began writing songs. My best ideas come before I sleep. This particular song had three parts, a lazy three-part harmony chorus based somewhere in B-minor.  The easy save would be for me to sit up and start playing it before I crash…I just don’t.  I give myself sympathy for being tired or that because I’m on a holiday or maybe that song sounds like something else, I should just leave it for morning.

 

Now what kind of  “musician” does that. It bugs the hell out of me but I guess being lazy is being human.  And all success is derived from direct action. The balance is there somewhere.

Disguised in Reality Tour or Gaining Distance

Disguised in Reality Tour or Gaining Distance

With the Disguised in Reality Tour fast approaching I needed some real time away from home. But the further away I seem to be, the less of a difference it seems to make. I’ve been out here in Beautiful Victoria, BC Canada, relaxing, more or less reliving past Sundays over and over again. Walking into downtown, looking at the water and the mountains in the distance.

I came out here to get away, from what I’m not exactly sure but I just wanted to do NOTHING, go for coffee in the morning, write a little, drain my head of thoughts like a massive sweltering blister. I dont know if its working but I needed to know where I stand with myself and the future of whatever it is I am doing. Taking the time to focus on the next couple of years but more importantly these next few months.

I take a lot of time in my life to watch. A voyeur of human behavior. But I’m not sure if its out of sheer entertainment to see a couple fighting over whos gotten to do what on their vacation, or if its juts out of curiousity. Maybe both.

The point is reflection time is good for you but can also paralyze you in a state of inaction against yourself. Out of the entertainment value of your own thoughts you just fester with nothingness. Talking big and acting big are two different things.

I’ll be the first to say I only have a very vauge idea of HOW I am trying to persue a life in music. I do know thats what I want, but how? All I know right now is to take action on the things I can put into motion while still maintaining some sense of me. Think, Build, Display, Repeat. Its all there.

Disguised in Reality Dates Coming Soon